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On the night before we were married, her mother and two sisters picked us up at the airport. Her dad had died a few years earlier and her mom had remained single and uninterested in dating anyone else. The five of us went directly to the family home where a wedding party was scheduled for later that evening, and over the course of the drive to the house and the light dinner before the party, we talked and joked and generally eased the nervousness among us. Margie, my girl, and her sisters were. Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.Q: What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Tennessee?A: Documentaries.A Tennessee State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the truck driver replies, "'Bout wut?"Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned. He showedhis sympathy by snuggling a bit closer. We stayed like that a while and,though I wanted to stay forever, I eventually said, "OK. That's enough.Let's get dinner."I open the back door and said, "Ohhhh shoot; the elves didn't show up."The place was full of rented caterer's equipment. Every pot, knife andbowl I own was piled on the countertops, and the whole place smelt ofschmaltz. (~Was it schmaltz if it came from a turkey?~ I'd have to askShelly.) The only thing different from what I had. Jesus Christ, Sal thought, did I have to screw myself this bad? Naw, Salvatore’s thought replied, come on man, it’s really not so bad. I mean all you’re really lookin for is to get laid. ‘Can I help you?’ said the perky teenaged girl behind the counter. ‘Huh…oh, yeah, yeah. Uh…I’d like one coffee, medium, regular.’ ‘Anything else?’ she smiled. ‘Uh…yeah, you know what? Gimme’ a dozen doughnuts there, three plain crullers, three Boston creams, three apple cinnamon, and three…three more Boston.
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